Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
