you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
