A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
