soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
