this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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