when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
