I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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