dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need a beard to bite.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
