I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
