I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
