If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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