Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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