I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
