Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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