Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
