And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
