do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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