I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
