2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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