never play flip cup with pint glasses
that's an acceptable place to lick
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
