what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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