Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
