Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
