When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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