Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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