What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
