The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
