just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize