Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
