Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
