im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize