Why are handjobs necessary in class?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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