I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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