Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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