Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
