Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
handjob tips. give me some.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
