your room smells of hookers.
And success
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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