so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
