But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Randomize
