you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
