She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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