My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
