maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Say something about gay babies.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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