You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
