You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
