I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
