Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
