someone get that fucking seahorse.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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