yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
