Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My vagina just clenched in fear
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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