thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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