I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
